NARM Training Institute

In the webinar, NARM Master Therapist, Sherri Sharkins and Dr. Laurence Heller discuss the concept of self-betrayal in the context of NARM. They emphasize that self-betrayal is an ongoing dynamic, not just a past event, and it often stems from the core dilemma of choosing between authentic self-expression and maintaining relationships, especially in childhood. The discussion highlights how self-betrayal is linked to various survival styles, shame, self-hatred, and self-rejection. Larry also points out the range of self-betrayal, from significant life decisions to small behavioral patterns, and clarifies that it differs from the original adaptations made during childhood.

The conversation then addresses the relationship between self-betrayal and the body, noting that distorted self-identifications are held in the body as tension or collapse. They explore how acting out survival styles gets in the way of genuine connection and how the fear of not being liked as an adult often mirrors the fear of not being loved as a child. Dr. Heller discusses the paradox of seeking love through performance and how the concept of agency supports addressing self-betrayal by recognizing individual participation in these dynamics.